Random thoughts

There is alot to having a healthy relationship. We look at the word relationship and figure its all about being with someone and making them happy, but you cant sacifice your own happiness to acoommodate someone elses, Despite the fact that this person maybe all that you want in one way, but lacks to care in others; This is still a big problem and moving forward with an unhappy relationship were one or both have unspoken issues will ultimately end badly.
I have had many experiences and I know that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, there will always be things that may upset you, or drive you up a wall but the one thing that it should never do is make you question the decision of building a life with someone.

I suppose this is the reason for many people having a fear of relationship, the sacifices you have to make and time invested. The thing about making sacifices is that they have to also benefit the person making them. The mere thought of having to structure your life around someone elses, having to think of more then just yourself these are the things that scares people and make it so much harder to make relationship apart of there future.

there should be magic in a relationship, moments were the person your with makes you feel so high so on top of the  world that you have no desire to come down. This should be the person you wake up for in the mornings and cant wait to fall asleep with at night. When you have found that magic the structuring life and sacifices just dont seem so important because this person makes you so happy nothing else exist. Magic is something needed in a successful relationship, someone who is willing to learn you better then you know yourself, Who is willing to meet you half way with all decisions you make. The smallest things create the biggest magic.  Some of you should take notes on this subject, most dont know how to make magic happen. I think its hard to be apart of something magical if you have to much of a hard time creating or finding the magic in something!! noone is perfect but there should always be someone who is perfect for you!!! if you dont believe in magic, you cant possibly believe in love.

THE FAMOUS 90 DAY RULE!!

There is a saying amongst the female community tthat has been popular for years  in order to tell if the guy she is dating is truly into to her, the 90 day rule! well supposively doing the 90 day wait period shows that he is interested in more then just his and her physical needs, but also in the connection that has grown between the two of them, well im sorry to say this rule like many others is a waste of time. It all depends on the intentions of the guy you are seeing not the amount of time you wait because honestly the male species know all about this rule and just because you arent active with them doesn't mean there isnt another girl who is doing it for you. A guy with no intentions of taking it to the next level with you and building a great relationship will never have intentions of doing so even with a trail waiting period. We all know as woman we know before the end of the first date if we will ever sleep with the guy were out with so there is know need to hound yourself with time.


My suggestion X out the waiting period, that does not mean go and sleep with him the first time you guys go out but putting restrictions on physical connection only makes it hard to really know what your feeling with him, instead you'll constantly think of what you dont want to happen and what you wont let happen before that time comes. Instead do things different from the past bad experience try new things. Like i have said before in one of my past post, we all know who we are dating before we take it to the level which most of us tend to regret intead of making things complicated learn the person your dating, it doesn't take 90 days to know the person your with.

Statistics show that the average american has sex on the third date, this can be both a good and bad thing depending on the individuals engaging in the act, most of which ended up in marriage and happy fulfilling relationships. This statistic proves that the 90 wait is nothing more then a restruction built upon insecurities and bad experiences. The better thing to ask yourself is are you choosing the right person to have a physical relationship with this is something to think about ,food for thought.  We tend to date the same kind of people and the results are always disappopintment. Sometimes its the kind of guys we date that make us vulnerable, judgemental, and bitter, making the dating world and sexual world a shark pool; Maybe instead of restruction you should try dating someone that isnt in your normal dating type. TRY NEW THINGS you will be surprised of the out come.

Thanks for reading in on my blog please continue to read!!! until next time

What Is a True friend?

Someone asked me to Write about being a friend. This was funny to me because thats not something that can be described but something that should come natural as a developing person. I have a handful of friends that I can actually call a friend, and its not because they hangout with me and we party to the wee hours of the morning drunk and out of control, even though this is something that I have done with them, but because they have literally been through wars with me, fought and made up with me, they are not afraid  to tell me when I'm wrong or when I'm making a fool of myself. I pride my strengths on having such strong females and males that not only stand with me but represent the very essence of who I'am.

A friend, is not like family in many ways they know you better then those who share your  bloodline. These are people you choose to have in your life. People you have hand picked to trust with your secrets, tell all your dreams, plan the craziest things with and who should always even when times are bad know that there can never be another like you. A true friend is something I have learned to be with time and patience. It took losing them to silly mistake, to gaining their trust back and learning to appreicate them fully and whole hearted.

One thing a friend is not and can never be is untrustworthy. You can not build a life long bond with someone you can not trust with your life. Sometimes without knowing we often choose friends because we like to lie to ourselves about who we are or escape reality with people we know are going nowhere fast, just for the goodtime or the time away from dealing with our everyday problems. The friend who will watch as you fall on your face, humiliate yourself, and talk about you behind your back. These are the friends who will never help build that strong person with in you. I know that sometimes we are blinded to the things around us but just like seasons people change and with time will show you just who they are and there intentions in your life.So for the person who asked for this blog, my suggestion to you is to evaluate the people you call friends and if at the end of the evaluation you see that there is no benefit of being friends with this person and I dont mean material things, but actual connection with this individual then i think you need to do a process of elimination. Honestly watch as you change the patterns of your life for the better you will notice how many of your so called friends stay around for the ride. Pick and Choose Wisely. '

 Quote: If you come into my life with no intentions of making it better then you are wasting my time. Will Smith

Thanks to all of those that read and support simplyebby please leave me messages  on my facebook for things you want me to blog about. Until the next entry.

The importance of sex in a relationship

I know that alot of people think sex is just sex and it doesn't have a great deal of  importance in a relationship like trust, loyalty and or honesty; which is equally as important in a relationship because without these three factors a relationship can not work. Sex has to be looked at as just as important. Without sex there is can be no reproduction. Sex is on Mas low's Hierarchy of needs basic need in life, being that its basic; means that its something everyone needs on a regular basis.A relationship that lacks basic essential can not survive. It is a need as well as a want and  desire. Physically our bodies need the chemicals released during sex and attraction. There are 3 other chemicals released besides the endorphin, and they are dopamine, norepinephrine, and phenylethylamine. thus the term chemical attraction. These chemicals also help with the strong development of your bones and neurons making sex definitely a need.


Fact: a relationship were the couple does not find time for one another  learning the ends and outs of one another will inevitably end, creating a world of dissatisfaction, the relationship will become a pool of lies and deception. A lot of people fail to realize how important  it is to connect sexually with their partners. they mistake sex and love making often causing the bodies to miscommunicate  leaving one or both feeling completely empty and dissatisfied. Some also say that it is possible to deal with a bad partner if you love this person whole, sex studies show that sexually frustrated couple often fight , become resentful of the other, and or over all began relationships outside of the home, with that being proven the fact don't agree with that statement. Cheating often occurs because the dissatisfied partner often feels torn between caring for their partners and not being about to express what it is there feeling toward the situation. We don't speak out about what discomforts or dissatisfaction we feel with our partners, leaving you vulnerable, weak to temptation. Sex does not equal love that would be foolish to say, but complete satisfactions with the your partners makes falling in love so much easier. Loving someone is completely different From being in love with someone and a healthy sexual relationship were both partners fulfill each others needs staying in love is fairly easy and i don't just mean sexual both mentally and emotionally.


There is so much that sex gives to a relationship, Creating a bound between two people, connecting both partners mind body and spirit taking in one another loving and appreciating one another. Sex takes you into another world with your lover a place you can bring out an inner animal, a place were you can fill each other with passion and desire, display the limitless amounts of want and need for one another, A moment in time were you are completely released from everything around you but one another. Take time to figure out your mates body and all that makes them tick and beat, trust them to do the same for you. Spicing up the bedroom is always a good thing keeping it adventurous keeps you both anxious and excited about each encounter. Please do not ignore the needs of a healthy sexual relationship.

Thanks for viewing my blog please continue to visit simplyebby for my insight on love and life!!!!

Nice Guys finish last

I'm making this one for a gentlemen that spoke about it on me and my friends very popular chat room on Facebook.

I have a theory on this, its not that nice guys finish last its that they dont have the same confidence, confidence is the most important thing a person can have, especially if your looking for a relationship. Just like men woman can smell a man that lacks confidence and this woman will take advantage of the situation using you for all that you have instead of appreicating all the wonders of having a man that will love her flaws and all.
We tend to pride ourselves on being mister and misses right and forget that we cant always give everyone the same attention and love we give to the ones that are worse our time and effort. like i said before, as we date a person we learn things about them that tells us who they are, the way he/she  speaks, what and were the conversations will lead that alone tells you the intentions this person has, and the way they are with there parents. Yes I said parents how a person bonds with there families can chance the outcome of how they will bond and treat you. you must take all of these things in to consideration before considering a relationhip with a person. the problem is we always over look things believing some how we can either change this or that were different from the last person, well guess what your not, and trying to tell yourself you are is just lying and the only thing that does is confuse the situation. be true to yourself.
 Its not that a nice guy finishes last, its that he has been looking for the right nice girl in all the wrong places. keep reading my blogs and supporting me thanks

What age is best to talk to your children about sex and babies

One of my closet friends told me her 4 year old son asked her about sex the other night and she was worried about how to answer that question. I have has alot of experience with this type of situation, i have a strong belief that you shouldn't hide anything from your children. I believe that if your not honest with your kids the results of them making wrong decisions are far greater. So I simply told her to tell him the truth. Its never to early to explain sex to your child, although as they grow the conversation will become more elaberate, the teaching will always remain with them. I have an 8 year old daughter who has asked me this question when she was 6 years old, the situation was baffling, complex even but I simply sat her down and told her about sex keeping it child friendly of course, but again i feel that when they ask you its important to explain the question. I have Come encounter with far to many young children having children, the problem with this is they have no idea what to do with a child or how to properly care for a child. Most of which had parents who did not speak to them about the results of unprotected sex. Which lead not only to bring a life into the world, but the possibility of contracting a very serious sexually transmitted disease. So with that being said as a parent my job is to protect  my little one from everything including herself sometimes. Being a parent doesn't come with instructions or a How to hand book, each parenting style is different but the  most important thing is knowing and understanding your child and making sure they know and understand you.

Thoughts

Typically ever girl has this ideal fairy tale kind of guy whom she wants to find, the average everyday guy just doesn't cut it, her expectations and standards won't allow her to just date anyone. Well that is for a woman that has already found herself and everything else is just to compliment her no completion necessary. Whats the issue with finding that right person? I propose this; not every expectation we have is going to be met! Woman or man Fact! You have to learn to position yourself for the impossible and allow the inevitable to occur. Most woman like myself whom are guarded don't feel comfortable just surrendering there emotions for any cause in fear of either losing themselves in love or being hurt by someone who can't love her the way see deems right. I still say a guarded woman is still an insecure woman hiding in her walled nature. Regardless of knowing who you are doesn't stop the possibility that you are afraid of pain, even the most successful, strong minded woman, have insecurities it's about channeling that and not letting it rest on your shoulders so that the praying mantis in you breaks apart possible relations resulting in a vicious cycle of loss of relation and self esteem.

Tonight, if just one night" copy written"

 

 

We don't have long,
if tonight is all we have lets stay until the stars fade away,
I will lay inside your arms and breathe you in to me,
there is so much of you i want to take away with me, besides this pictures in my mind,
run away with me,
lets forget all that we know just for the night and lets sail away into a place were you and i exist as one for eternity,
that's the place that you and i don't have to walk away,
I cant bare to let you go again not so far from me,
so if night is all we have i don't want to close my eyes,
don't want to let the time escape from us,
Ill make a memory with every touch,
and ill hold back every time the tears that want to erupt,
so i'll kiss your lips and taste each moment of our love,
If tonight is all we have tomorrow ill be numb
like a statue made of ice to be reserved,
I cant stand the cold but with out you there is no warmth,
and numb is all that consumes me,
If tonight is all we have lets make this last forever, if only in my mind were you exist beyond space and time,
and when i close my eyes your with me,
thats what keeps my sanity,
tonight will fade and the tears will fall and i, i will eventually be ok,
 through this dark tunnel there is a light that you and i will reach someday.